AVAFREAKINTAR, THE MUSICAL
by Ginnyisme3
Summary: The gAang goes to see the Ember Island Players perform a musical. Crackfic, and ubsurd. Light romance. Includes rapping 'Ozai'.
1. Sokka's NotSoGreat Idea

Disclaimer: Not mine. Wish it was mine. Maybe! Nope. Still not mine.

* * *

"Oh no. Not another Ember Island Players 'extravaganza'," Katara Beiphong (nobody that the author knows knew her last name, so she, along with everyone else except for Zuko, who adopted the last name Sifu Hothead, adopted Toph's last name.) groaned looking at the flyer her smart-challenged (read SUPERDUPERDUMB) brother held in his hands. "But Katara, it's a FREAKIN' MUSICAL!! CALLED AVA-FREAKIN-TAR, THE MUSICAL!!" (at this point Suki through a rock at his head to shut him up, and the author's mom turned off the caps lock) Sokka cried, rubbing the back of his head. "It is not called Ava-freakin-tar," Aang said, unhappy that Sokka would use his title in such a way. "Whatever. I say we go," said Toph, and everyone reluctantly agreed. "Come on, 'Tara. It'll be fun, and we know that most of it's a lie," Aang, her boyfriend and the only person she'd allow to call her 'Tara, said. (NOTE: Author is a Zutara shipper. I just couldn't help myself.) "Ok, but don't come cryin' to me when this messes up." Katara warned. And off they trooped.

* * *

A/N: Ok. Extremely short, but it had to be. I'll post Act 1 When I get done with it, which will hopefully (or not, depending on the REVIEWS!!) be before forever. No promises. This will have anywhere from 3 to 5 chapters. I'm still working on it. ENJOY and REVIEW!!


	2. Act 1

They got to the theatre, and took their seats, once again in the nosebleed sections. Toph didn't bother complaining, as she knew she could hear everything. Aang got his way this time and sat by Katara, on the other side of whom sat Zuko. Aang slid his arm around Katara as the curtain went up, and Zuko glared at it. They looked at the scene, where shocked to see accurate versions of Katara and Sokka. The girl playing Katara was skinny and pretty, and the guy playing Sokka was… um... well, HOTT!! This, of course, meant he looked nothing like Sokka, contradicting the previous statement. It showed them bickering, and then Katara getting angry, then the iceberg cracked. Then this bright, bluish-white light shone through the stage, and then a BOY Aang jumped out. He took one look at 'Katara', and then the spotlight shown on him. "This must be the first song!" Aang whispered in Katara's ear. The song started:

Aang: _Closer_

_Closer_

_Closer_

_Closer_

_Turn the lights off in this place  
And she shines just like a star  
And I swear I know her face  
I just don't know who you are  
Turn the music up in here  
I still hear her loud and clear  
Like she's right there in my ear  
Telling me  
That she wants to own me  
To control me  
Come closer  
Come closer_

_And I just can't pull myself away  
Under a spell I can't break  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
And I just can't bring myself no way  
But I don't want to escape  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop_

_I can feel her on my skin  
I can taste her on my tongue  
She's the sweetest taste of sin  
The more I get the more I want  
She wants to own me  
Come closer  
She says "come closer"_

_And I just can't pull myself away  
Under a spell I can't break  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
And I just can't bring myself no way  
But I don't want to escape  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop_

_Come closer_

_Come closer_

_Come closer_

_Come closer_

_Come closer_

_Come closer_

_Come closer_

_I just can't stop nooooo  
I just can't stop nooooo  
I just can't stop nooooo  
I just can't stop nooooo_

_And I just can't pull myself away  
Under a spell I can't break  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
And I just can't bring myself no way  
But I don't want to escape  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop_

_And I just can't pull myself away  
Under a spell I can't break  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop  
I just can't stop_

_Come Closer_

Almost everyone applauded loudly, whistling, cheering, but the gaang just sat there, staring blankly at the stage. Zuko was bright red with rage, Katara was smiling, Aang was blushing and squeezing Katara, and Toph, Sokka, and Suki were laughing their respective heads off. After the applause had died down, the scene switched to the Fire Nation Palace, with Fire Lord Ozai, and Zuko. Zuko was questioning his father's decisions, and Ozai was telling Zuko how wrong he was. Zuko said, "Are you sure?" and Ozai said, "Of course I'm sure!!" Then, music started again.

Ozai_: I can ride my bike with no handlebars  
No handlebars  
No handlebars_

_I can ride my bike with no handlebars  
No handlebars  
No handlebars_

_Look at me, look at me  
hands in the air like it's good to be  
ALIVE  
and I'm a famous bender  
even when the paths're all crookedy  
I can show you how to do-si-do  
I can show you how to scratch a record  
I can take apart the remote control  
And I can almost put it back together  
I can tie a knot in a cherry stem  
I can tell you about Leif Ericson  
I know all the words to "De Colores"  
And "I'm Proud to be the leader of the Fire Nation"  
Me and my friend saw a platypus  
Me and my friend made a comic book  
And guess how long it took  
I can do anything that I want cuz, look:_

_I can keep rhythm with no metronome  
No metronome  
No metronome_

_I can see your face on the telephone  
On the telephone  
On the telephone_

_Look at me  
Look at me  
Just called to say that it's good to be  
ALIVE  
In such a small world  
All curled up with a book to read  
I can make money open up a thrift store  
I can make a living off a magazine  
I can design an engine sixty four  
Miles to a gallon of gasoline  
I can make new antibiotics  
I can make computers survive aquatic conditions  
I know how to run a business  
And I can make you wanna buy a product  
Movers shakers and producers  
Me and my friends understand the future  
I see the strings that control the systems  
I can do anything with no assistance_

_I can lead a nation with a microphone  
With a microphone  
With a microphone  
_

_I can split the atoms of a molecule  
Of a molecule  
Of a molecule_

_Look at me  
Look at me  
Driving and I won't stop  
And it feels so good to be  
Alive and on top  
My reach is global  
My tower secure  
My cause is noble  
My power is pure  
I can hand out a million vaccinations  
Or let'em all die in exasperation  
Have'em all healed of their lacerations  
Have'em all killed by assassination  
I can make anybody go to prison  
Just because I don't like'em and  
I can do anything with no permission  
I have it all under my command_

_I can guide a missile by satellite  
By satellite  
By satellite  
_

_and I can hit a target through a telescope  
Through a telescope  
Through a telescope  
_

_and I can end the planet in a holocaust  
In a holocaust  
In a holocaust  
In a holocaust  
In a holocaust  
In a holocaust  
No handle bars_

_I can ride my bike with no handlebars_

_No handlebars_

_I can ride my bike with no handlebars  
No handlebars  
No handlebars_

Everyone clapped, except, of course, the gaang. This time, all of them were rolling around laughing hysterically. The curtain went down. "FIRE FLAKE TIME!!" Sokka whisper shouted, as it was intermission time. "Let's go."


End file.
